Advice on dating friends

You’re two grown-ups, not a sugardaddy and his gold-digger.

Chivalry means being attentive, thoughtful and fair, not paying for all the food.

A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.

Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.

See it all as experience, not as proof that you’re a loser (or that everyone else is a loser).

Learn from your bad and boring dates and try again.

Advice can be a good thing when it is handled with respect and good intentions.

Don’t wait too long before something is discussed & try to do it at the time you are aware of the situation.

Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you’ve ever seen.Six emails in total – not each – is enough to know whether you want a date. Chances are that you won’t fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. It’s easy to lose faith when your first few dates don’t work out.It’s very unusual for someone to find a good match in their first few attempts.Do they want us to just listen to their stories or are we allowed to partake with an opinion or two? If a good friend is repeating a continually negative or abusive dating pattern and constantly complaining about it, you have every right to speak up.When you are “asked” for advice you are permitted to offer a diplomatic response, but it may not be appreciated if you harshly attack their decision about something personal they are dealing with in their relationship. • Do they consider you one of their closest friends? Depending on how this is verbally delivered could be helpful or futile in your relationship with them.

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